So I guess everyone comes to a point in their life where there is not much that you can do to change the situation that you are in or the person that you've become other than lift it up to God and say, "Take this from me...I can't do it alone." Well, I'm too that point. The past 2 months has been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I'm not sure if I'm coming or going anymore. I thought that I had it all together, and I thought that I had it all figured out and come to find out...that was the complete opposite. Someone very near and dear to my heart told me the other day that I had to love God more than him...and I had to love myself more than him. At first this statement angered me so much. I wanted to scream. In the moment I couldn't say anything at all. I was angry that he thought that he could look into my heart and see what I loved, who I loved, and how much I loved them. That wasn't fair. But the more that I've taken time to think and pray...maybe it's not that I loved him more. Maybe it just seemed that way. I do love God with all my heart and soul...and He is number one in my life. But how many times do we all push Him to the back burner and see that maybe, just maybe, our actions are not lining up with our words. I love this person that told me these things with all my heart, and my heart aches right now because I've lost him in a big way in my life, however this is my chance to put God back in the driver's seat and for me not just to be a passenger. But for me to climb in the backseat and let Him lead me where I need to be going. So as much as my heart breaks right now...I know that this happened for a reason. I've learned that I can't fix anyone, and that nobody can fix me other than Jesus Christ. I've learned that I can't be mad at God for something that He knew was going to happen anyway. I know that God will continue to show me where I need to be going and what I need to be doing...and I also know now that I'm not alone no matter what.