So here I go. The semester did not go as planned and now I'm on the way out the door of Wittenberg and into the real world where I don't know what the future will hold. I'm officially a Pre-School teacher in Dayton, OH...and I'm moving into a new place next week, however I'm still scared to death that I'm going to be on my own. I have someone here with me helping me and guiding me and I'm so thankful for that, because without this person I would be lost.
Have you ever had so many feelings and emotions running through your head that you can't breathe just thinking about the sorting them all out? Have you ever just wanted to cry because you were so unbelievably happy and so unbelievably sad in the same exact moment? Have you ever wanted to pull away from something with everything that you have but as you are running away you are looking back holding onto that one last string? That's what is going on in my head right now. I'm so lost in my crazy thoughts and emotions that I don't know which way is up. I'm fighting to be the "me" that I know I'm supposed to be...but I'm still holding onto the old "me" that was fake, and scared. I'm holding on the vulnerable and tattered girl that I used to be. I'm running away from that and becoming a strong and independent woman. It's all scary and crazy. It's hard to realize that in 8 days I will be living on my own and working for my living and everything that I have. I will be living with all I have. I will be working for everything that I want to have. I will be happy. I am convinced that I will be happy. If I'm not happy, I'm not sure where else I would go or what I would do. So for me...this is the beginning of the end. This is the start of the rest of my life.
This is the start of my wonderful life and watch out because I WILL be successful. I WILL be happy. I WILL do great things. I WILL have a family. I WILL be better than the examples that have been set for me. I WILL be great. Period.
Wow, we need to catch up girl. Thinking of you. Love you.
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