Losing Connections...

I talked to my Mom tonight to find out that 2 people that I know have passed away in the past few days. It's not like either of these people were people that have been in my life in a huge way in the past years, but all the same, you hurt when those you love hurt. I am sure that there is some reason why I'm feeling this way. People that I haven't seen in 10+ years are hurting so therefore I am hurting for them. I wish that I could have gone home to see these people, but unfortunately I gave up that when I moved to school 3 hours away, I guess. Anyway, tonight my thoughts and prayers are directed towards my family and friends that are confronting these losses. I pray that they have the comfort and the peace that only they can get from above.

This weekend was good. Friday night I went on a retreat with some friends involved in campus ministries. It was fun to be with some people who were of like Faith for a while. :) We stopped at a beautiful sunflower field on the way out there and took some pictures. It was so much fun. I just stood for 20 minutes watching 2 of our friends trying to ride Brad's "buddy bike". It was rather humorous. Meredith went out and tried to show them how it was done....I think they are all going to have to practice a little before they will succeed in that endeavor. Anyway, I'm going to head to bed soon, I just felt like I wanted to give a brief update of the weekend before i went to bed.

Going to a place....where I can find YOU again.

I just realized that my post last night was scattered and weird....hmmm maybe that's how I've been feeling? Scattered and weird. I am super excited to go on the Common Ground Retreat. Just a night of fun and fellowship with other believers. It's going to be great. I can't wait to go. I think that it's important that I get God back at the center of my life and figure out some things for myself.

Anyway, I haven't really updated everyone on school yet! School is crazy! I'm busy ALL the time but I do enjoy it. I love my classes, mostly, and I absolutely LOVE living in this house with these awesome people. It's truly amazing. All of my housemates are amazing people that genuinely care about other people. Christ's love is over flowing in this house! It's amazing. It's nice to come "home" at night and not just to a dorm room or an apartment. I'm coming to my "home" where all is well and I can be myself. I was talking to one of my housemates last night and I told her that I'm learning it's okay to be weak, it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to be scared, and it's okay to melt down sometimes. And I love that here I can come and be all of those things and still be welcomed and loved. I love that I have so many resources and supports to be fed spiritually in my own home.

As for everything else, things are shaping up. I'm trying to find a balance between everything and I'm sure eventually that will come. For now I'm just taking it step by step and one day at a time. That's all we can do, right?

I leave you with a little devotion that i found interesting by Dietrich Bonhoeffer:

"We live in houses, but homes need to be created. And we do this when we make room for togetherness, intimacy, and sharing and when we create a setting for openness, relaxation, and joy. The home should not be like a busy railway station, where we may see each other regularly, but our lives do not really touch. Instead, at our meal times, times of games an storytelling and in the common participation of making the household work, we weave a tradition of togetherness that enriches our lives. This setting also becomes the opportunity for hospitality."

Staying afloat

So here i am. Lying in bed trying to find the joy in my life. Trying to figure out why i run myself down to the bare bone before i reach up and gasp for air. I just need to remember there is joy in little things. And that at the end of the day i can always look up and find help.

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staying afloat

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