faith or fear?

So recently I've been pondering the possibilities that are in front of me. There are so many great things going on and God is blessing me beyond measure...but sometimes I still feel like I'm just a helpless little child in the corner of the room waiting for someone to come and save me. I'm so excited for school to be here and to have the opportunity to live in the new Campus Ministries house and be a part of leading that, but I hate that I have to leave camp and all the friends that I have made here. I miss my family tremendously, but I'm ready to be at school again. It's a lose-lose situation from the outside looking in...but in all reality its the perfect situation. I have so many possibilities ahead of me.

One person in particular I feel like I have been running from because of fear and past situations. I have been praying about it...okay, maybe not as much as I should be, but I still feel like I'm running. I"m not sure why I'm running...and this is where I am realizing that my faith needs to be stronger. Fear cannot hold me down. "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. I need to let go and let God. I know that all the stresses and worries of my life will all be okay if I just let HIM take control again. And if I let HIM be the master of my life I won't have to worry about any of that. So I'm going to take a leap of faith and see where some of these different possibilities are going to go.

So I leave you with lyrics from my new favorite song :) This is Sanctus Real "Lead Me". Look it up and enjoy!

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

So here I am again...

So yes it's been a few days..okay, a few weeks...but I wanted to write a little bit and let everyone know I was still alive :)

So the past few weeks have been so much fun. After Tyler's graduation I came back to Recreation Unlimited for resource training, and then staff training, and we just finished Week 1, which was an adult week. We had a great time. I had a whole cabin full of some awesome people, both staff and campers. There was on camper in particular that really touched my heart. She was the cutest little lady with blonde hair, and throughout the week she made me laugh and cry all in the same hour, however she had my heart, and I think she knew this :) On Thursday she decided she wanted to do the swim test and go off the diving board....and she did. With tears in my eyes I watched her go off the diving board and she was sooooo proud of herself. This was an amazing experience for her, but also for all of us there to watch. It's amazing. I'm glad that I know at least one person had an amazing week...I hope I have many more of these moments this summer.